The September 11 attacks were a horrific event that left a lasting impact on the world. For those who were directly affected by the attacks, the anniversary can be a time of great sadness, anger, and anxiety. It can also be a time of reflection and healing.
I was working dayshift on an adolescent psychiatric unit on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. I stood with the children as their TV shows were interrupted with scenes and reports of the planes hitting the buildings. (My ability to lead and maintain calm in the midst of chaos with a distressed population were certainly tested that day.)
The children kept asking what was going to happen, and what we should do. I kept repeating one of my favorite Mr. Roger’s quotes, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news,” Rogers said to his television neighbors, “my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” To make our anxiety actionable, I enlisted them to explore the organizations out there that help and that I could support. They wanted me to join the army.
Instead, I trained then volunteered with the Red Cross as a Mental Health Specialist. The entire experience was indescribably, profoundly, sadly, and rewardingly educational and impactful for me and all of those who were there with me.
When I arrived in New York, I was assigned to a specialized team that dealt only with assisting families which had suffered a death. I worked in small teams alongside specialists from other healing fields to try and help victims start to rebuild their lives.
The Red Cross Integrated Care Team is a group of “compassionate and highly trained volunteers tasked with coordinating health services, spiritual care, mental healthcare, financial assistance and support for people that have been affected or those who have lost loved ones during a tragedy.”
Immediately upon reporting to our office across the street from the Family Assistance Center on Pier 94, Dr. Jeff Fox, who was at that time an associate fellow of Albert Ellis, summoned me to accompany him on our first (but not officially assigned) case. We got off the subway, and then came up in an area of New York unknown to me.
Dr. Fox explained we were in the Lexington Ave projects in Harlem and the call he had gotten required our immediate attention. We took the elevator up to the apartment of a family that included four children aged seven and under. Mom and Dad both worked at the World Trade Center in the janitorial department. Mom worked during the night and Dad during the day. Both parents were enrolled in Community College and Dad was helping his oldest son paint his room. They were working hard together to make a better life for their family. Mom told us they “…had a good marriage…shared everything.”
Dad was killed in the attack. Mom had already dropped out of college, as she couldn’t afford the time, tuition, or grief of being in the area of the WTC.
As Dr. Fox processed with Mom, I listened to the children tell me about their father who they loved and admired so much. I agreed to read Dr. Seuss’ “Green Eggs and Ham” to them; like Dad did. I’m certain the love, dreams, and connection that that family shared is what helped them come through their horror.
A few days, and dozens of stories later, Dr. Fox and I ended up in Brooklyn with a young man from Argentina whose father had sent him to the USA a few years before to get his life together. When he arrived in New York one of the first people he met was a girl who was from Lancaster, PA. As strangers in a new land, they became fast friends.
Over the years, their friendship developed into a romance and they married. He told us that they were inseparable and she was his world. Each morning, he had to be out of the house before her to get to work on time and they would playfully bicker about who’s turn it was to get in the bathroom for teeth brushing. He won most days. Except on September 11, 2001. On this day, she had an early business call scheduled and had to get out of the house first. When she popped out of their room from getting ready and ran out of the door for the train, he yelled after her, laughing and calling her names for leaving him to get the next train by himself.
Soon after, she perished in the attacks and he was wholly and completely devastated.
Red Cross volunteers worked 12 hours a day, everyday except one, for almost a month at a time. Office time was spent sorting through files full of the trinkets of victims’ lives, drivers’ licenses, pictures, library cards, and death certificates. The cause of death was listed as “Homicide” on each certificate and as (parts of) bodies were identified, we’d walk the files over to the pier to match the remains and then wait for the families to arrive and be informed. Families sobbing and bagpipe dirges became the soundtrack to our days.
(View from my Office of Pier 94 and Ground Zero in the Distance)
One of the recognition letters that followed my service, and holds true for us all, included this quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of convenience and comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” And in a letter I received from my “other mom”, she wrote, “when you do right things, right things happen.”
The September 11 anniversary can be a difficult time, but it is also a time to remember the strength and resilience of the human spirit. By taking care of ourselves and seeking help when we need it, we can heal from trauma, individually and as a community.
TheresaDrass@drassassociates.com
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